Kefir Cheese

This is dead simple if you make your own kefir (which, by the way is pronounced keh-FEER, not KEE-fur, not that I will ever correct you in public, just don't try to correct me).

Ingredients

• strained milk kefir, any amount under 1/2 gallon

Equipment

• large bowl
• cheesecloth, or clean flour sack kitchen towel
• string or twine

1. Cover the bowl with the cheesecloth.
2. Pour kefir into the cheesecloth/bowl.
3. Gather up the ends of the cheesecloth and wrap them together with the string.
4. Tie the end of the string to the door knob of a cabinet door so the entire bundle hangs over the bowl.
5. Strain for 6-12 hours.
6. Remove cheese from the cloth and refrigerate.
7. Save the whey that has collected in the bowl for lacto-fermented recipes, either in the fridge or freezer.

If the kefir has been in the fridge for a few days and is extra sharp I use the resulting cheese for cheesecake.

Horrid Breakfast Drink

This is my breakfast most days, especially workdays when I wake up as late as possible and chug this stuff with all my old-man pills on the drive to work. It's more like medicine than food. Not recommended, but it does its job.

Ingredients

• 2 heaping scoops vanilla flavored powdered whey protein
• 1 heaping teaspoon ground flax meal
• filtered water
• hot water
• 1 heaping teaspoon raw powdered cacao (cocoa powder, but fancy)
• 2 heaping teaspoon ends matcha powder (yes, the handle of a teaspoon)
• some ice cubes
• maple syrup (very optional, and not recommended)

Equipment

• regular old teaspoon
• 27 oz. Klean Kanteen
• glass or mug

1. Dump whey powder and flax meal into the Klean Kanteen (or other similarly sized, sealable, non-reactive container).
2. Fill container less than halfway with filtered water, seal, and shake hard.
3. Dump matcha powder and cacao powder into mug/glass of hot water and stir.
4. Add hot water mixture to container (along with maple syrup if you want this to be palatable, but don't mind loosing out on the supposed weight loss benefit of 30 grams of protein within 30 minutes of waking).
5. Add enough ice cubes to raise water level to just below the neck of the container.
6. Seal and agitate some more.
7. Heaven help you.

At one point I was adding the Nativas superfood blend of hemp, maca, and cacao (thanks to a price mix-up at Wholefoods), but it made my mouth raw. I suspect the hemp, but would have to try it or the maca separately to be sure. I plan on adding freeze dried nettle leaf to the mix next time we do a bulk order from Frontier.

Pretty Good Made-up Bread

This is a totally made-up-on-the-spot recipe. I hadn't made bread in a while, and I'd just strained a batch of kefir, and I had ground flax seed on hand from my horrid breakfast beverage, so this is what happened.

Ingredients (for "sponge")

• 2 cups warm water
• 2 tsp yeast
• 2 tbsp molasses
• 2 tsp sea salt
• 2/3 cup strained kefir
• 1/4 cup ground flax meal
• 1 cup rye flour
• 1 cup whole wheat flour
• 1 cup unbleached bread flour
• 1/4 tbsp olive oil

Remainder

• roughly 5 cups unbleached bread flour
• a handful of cornmeal
• a splash of olive oil

Equipment

• measuring cups and spoons
• a kitchen mixer with bread hook 
• or a big bowl
• a damp cloth
• someplace warm
• a baking stone (or a baking sheet, if you're lame;)
• a small ovenproof bowl of water
• a pizza peel
• small knife, preferably serrated

1. Sprinkle the yeast and molasses into the warm water and proof (7 to 10 minutes).
2. Mix in the remainder of the "sponge" ingredients. This is a totally fake sponge. Real sponges take at least 12 hours and have a more complex, sourdough-like smell. This is quick and dirty with the kefir added for some microbiological complexity.
3. Set mixture covered in a warm place (I set mine above the water heater) until very bubbly. 1 to 2 hours.
4. Mix in remainder of flour. I'm deliberately vague about the exact quantity. This should be a soft, sticky dough, nearly as sticky a sourdough, but not quite.
5. Knead for 10 minutes.
6. Form in to a ball and transfer to a large bowl that has been oiled with olive oil.
7. Dust top with extra flour and cover with damp cloth.
8. Return to warm place and allow to rise until doubled. About 1 hour.
9. Punch down and return to rise until doubled in warm place, or if you need to slow things down you could put it in the fridge for a while. This will gain you up to 4 or 5 hours on the final rise.
10. Place baking stone and an ovenproof bowl of water in oven
11. Preheat your oven to 415˚ F or 213˚ C.
12. Divide dough and form into two torpedo shaped loaves on a flour dusted pizza peel.
13. Dust loaves with flour and allow them to rest for about 10 minutes.
14. Throw cornmeal onto baking stone and slide loaves on.
15. Slice top of loaf with a serrated knife or wet paring knife (wetting the knife keeps the dough from sticking and pulling, a serrated knife works dry).
15. Splash a handful of water onto the base of the oven (if this won't cause all kinds to nastiness to fly up), or spray water in oven with a mister (avoiding loaves).
16. Bake for 10 minutes then reduce heat to 375˚ F or 190˚ C.
17. Bake another 25 to 35 minutes. This a dark bread already thanks to the molasses and rye and wheat flours, so rather than eyeball it, pick up a loaf and thump the bottom. It should sound hollow.
18. Allow bread to cool before cutting into it. Baking continues for several minutes after it comes out of the oven, and cutting into it while it's hot (it's so tempting, I know!) can ruin the internal structure of the loaf.

This bread is great with butter from happy cows (we get ours locally from Lucky Layla at Lavon Farms, or Kerrygold is a great supermarket alternative), and honey from a backyard hive, or jelly from foraged wild fruits (I made mustang grape jelly a couple of weeks ago). It also makes decent torijas.

Chicken and Dumplings

I don't know if there's any possible way to make dumpling photogenic, but man they taste good. This recipe by Melody Rhodes, and supplied by Google, has been foolproof so far. My only modification has been to half it to make it fit our miniature family better.

Ingredients

• 1 cup white flour
• 2 tsp baking powder
  
• 1/2 tsp salt
  
• 2 tbsp softened butter
  
• 1/2 cup milk
  

1. Bring 1 1/2 to 2 quarts of chicken soup to a simmer.
2. Mix the dry ingredients.
3. Mix the butter in with a fork.
4. Add the milk, but don't stir any more than necessary.
5. Drop spoonfuls of dough into the simmering chicken soup.
6. Cover for 10 minutes.
7. NO PEEKING!

Options: Double the recipe of course if you're feeding more than three people, and you might check out the variations on the original recipe for sweet dumplings or raisin dumplings.

Chorrizo and Apples Foilpack

Sheer coincidence and a random stop at the Walmart in Midland brought this breakfast together. J and I had the same idea; as I was laying the first apple slices in she called "Add some apples!"

Ingredients

• 1 package of chorrizo
  
• 4 to 6 apples
  

1. Slice the apples into eighths and layer on the foil.
2. Place the chorrizo over the apples.
3. Wrap the bundle in three layers of foil.
4. Cook over hot coals, 15 minutes per side.

Fairytale Pumpkin Soup

One day we threw some seeds out the kitchen window, and overnight (it seems) we had a pumpkin patch. It makes for a lovely view while washing dishes, and in a pinch fed us and two friends. Jami used the leftovers to make this soupy Thai dessert:

Ingredients

• 1 cup coconut milk
• 1/2 water
• 1/4 of a pumpkin, peeled and cubed
• a pinch of salt
• brown sugar (or palm sugar if you can find it) to taste

1. Heat the coconut milk & water in a saucepan over low heat.
2. Add the pumpkin, salt & sugar.
3. Cook until the pumpkin is tender. Serves 4.

24 Hour Ginger Beer

Jami makes this ginger beer recipe every once in a while. It is quite good, though shown somewhat inconsistent appreciation by those outside our intimate circle of two. Last night we introduced it to some dear friends who actually liked it, so I'm posting this for their sake. I believe she got the recipe from Martha Stewart, but I won't swear to it. All I know is that it's not our creation.

Ingredients

• 2 lbs fresh ginger root
• 2 quarts boiling water
• sugar to taste
• soda water (optional)

1. Peel and grate the ginger. Grating can be done in a food processor or with a coarse cheese grater.
2. Place the grated ginger in a non reactive bowl (that means glass or ceramic), and pour the boiling water over it.
3. Loosely cover the bowl with foil for twenty-four hours. You want air to get in, but nothing to drop out of the sky into your drink.
4. After twenty-four hours strain out the grated ginger and compost it.

5. Refrigerate then sweeten to taste. Cut the ginger beer with soda water if you need to. I usually need to.

Best, Creamiest Papier Mâché Paste ever

Important update (as of 4/26/17) for comment-section-complainers coming to this 10 year old (!) recipe from some random Pinterest board: this is a wheat paste recipe, sometimes we southerners call it "payper mushay" paste (we also call anything fizzy and sugary a "coke", even if it's a Dr. Pepper, which is the best kind of coke, btw). I am so sorry if that is confusing. If you are sad, instead of complaining, please google "paper clay recipe" or just go here: http://www.ultimatepapermache.com/paper-mache-clay. A colleague uses this recipe and it is legit. You're welcome.

I've made many, many batches of papier mâché paste (wheat paste) in the past year, and most recipes are lacking in a number of ways, they're lumpy after a night in the fridge, and never quite recover, or they start out lumpy, or they turn stinky way too soon. I've finally settled on a recipe of my own invention that is lumpless, mold resistant, is just as good the third day out of the fridge as it was straight off the stove, and always creamy. The real key here is the rice flour, so don't imagine you can leave it out and still expect the best, creamiest papier mâché paste ever.

Ingredients

• 1/3 cup flour
• 2 tbsp rice flour
• 2 tsp salt
• 1 tsp baking soda
• 2 cups boiling water
• 1 cup cool water

1. Mix the dry ingredients.
2. Mix in the cool water with a fork or whisk, adding the water a little at a time to keep it as smooth as possible.
3. Stir the flour mixture into the boiling water.
4. Allow it to boil for two or three minutes.

Options: After a night in the fridge just stir it up with a fork. It's even nicer if you heat it.

Pizza Dough

It's been a while since we've been able to make pizza, but the other weekend we spent all of Saturday at the home of our friends AZ and D, and pizza was the result. I had fun shopping for toppings with the girls (D's daughter, her niece, and their live-in school buddy). The ham, peppers, tomatoes, broccoli, carrots, mozzarella, and Parmesan pizza above is their creation (Thai kids actually like vegetables). The adults had anchovies and pepperoni.

Ingredients

• 2 cups warm water
• 2 tsp yeast
• 2 tsp sugar, or honey, or molasses (optional)
  
• 2 tsp salt
• 3 tbsp olive oil, or lard
• 5-7 cups high protein flour
• a handful of cornmeal
  

Equipment

• a big bowl
• a damp cloth
• someplace warm
• a baking stone (or a baking sheet, if you're lame;)
  

1. Sprinkle the yeast and your sweetener of choice into the warm water. For a longer rise time (and a richer flavored crust) use only 1 tsp of yeast.
2. Let the yeast proof. If it's in good shape it should start to foam a bit after seven to ten minutes.
3. Add the salt.
4. Add your fat of choice. If using lard you might want to soften it a bit.
5. Mix in one cup of flour. Don't worry about lumps.
6. Begin mixing in the rest of the flour, use your hands once it begins to get stiff. The 5-7 cups is exactly approximate. Just make sure the dough is good and stiff before you start kneading.
7. Transfer your dough to a clean working surface, dusted with flour.
8. Knead for about 10 minutes, adding more flour if the dough gets sticky. If you have kids around this is a great time to let them get their hands dirty.
9. Put the dough in a clean, oiled bowl, with plenty of head room. Cover the bowl with a damp cloth, and leave the dough in a warm place until it has doubled in size. Depending on how much yeast you used this should take 45 minute to 1 hr and 1/2.
10. Preheat your oven to 400˚ F or 205˚ C. If you're using a stone you should throw it in there.
10. Punch the dough down and knead it again for a minute or two. If I'm making pizza for just two people I usually cut it the dough in half at this point and freeze one of the halves.
11. Roll or throw the dough into your desired shape.
12. Sprinkle cornmeal onto your baking surface, and slide your dough on. I usually coat it with some olive oil at this point.
13. I hope you have toppings ready.
14. Bake for 25 to 30 minutes, until the crust begins to brown.

Options: All by itself this dough makes great focaccia.

Easy Chocolate Pudding

I don't know where Jami found this pudding recipe, but it's easy and fast, and I like it just fine.

Ingredients

• 1/4 cup cocoa powder
• 1/3 cup sugar
• 3 tbsp corn starch
• a pinch of salt
• 2 cups milk
• 1/2 tsp vanilla extract

1. Mix the dry ingredients.
2. Whisk in the milk.
3. Stir over very low heat until the pudding begins to thicken.
4. Add the vanilla extract.

Options: Try adding a little cinnamon.